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11:58 PM

Authenticity - Why people arent themselves and what that costs them ...

Posted by Zulkarnai Harun Ar Rashid |

Why should you be yourself? The simple answer is 'because everyone else is taken' - it's both the simple answer and an accurate answer. The important question is 'why are we not ourselves?' What is the pay off for not being ourselves? Ahhh, now we're talking. 

To begin with, what would cause us to not want to be ourselves!! For some of us, we may have been raised in environments where it was dangerous to be who we are. Even as adults we may be working in environments that demand that we be other than who we are in order to ensure job security. So we conclude, I have to be other than I am to get what I want i.e. love, safety, income etc. 

We may have learned to believe 'who I am is not good enough to be loved, guaranteed safety, approved of'. We may have been told 'who you are is not worth treating well'. We may have learned 'who you are is not good enough to meet my standards for 'being good enough'. We may become convinced that we are less than we should be. 

When we feel not good enough what happens to our lives? We end up putting things on hold until we feel we 'deserve' by becoming good enough. We spend so much time striving to feel that we're good enough. Have I accomplished enough, am I good looking enough, is my car big/fast/exclusive enough, is my job title high enough, do I have enough awards to be good enough? Exhausting isn't it!!

Self worth and authenticity are intrinsically linked. The worth we have in our own eyes, a sense of worth not built on acquisition, job title, appearance, credentials - is the only worth, worth living out of. How many of us realise that we have an intrinsic worth greater than anything on the outside? If we go through life with a sense of being deficient then we are motivated to acquire value - the things that others value in the world then become our aim in life. I may not be good enough in and of myself but look what I've got, becomes our calling card. 

Sooner or later, things fall apart, if we're lucky. It can take many forms e.g we can lose everything we spent our whole lives accruing or we meet someone or a situation who places no value on our 'social bling'. We run helter skelter trying to get them to 'see' us as our bling or we go somewhere else. But there's a crack in the tea cup. When it finally breaks open, our break down becomes our breakthrough. 

We begin to look for another way. What we've been looking for is a way to feel good about who we are, under all circumstance. We don't always realise it at first since there's much howling in pain and hanging onto fast disappearing 'bling'. 

The breakthrough cracks us wide open and everything we've been taught is 'wrong' with us, all the things we've been taught make us 'not good enough' stare us in the face. Excruciating at first but if we stay, refuse to take flight, we can transform. Now begins the re-acquainting ourselves with the 'real' us, all of it. 

There are many transformation technologies from journaling, meditation, prayer, walking, body work, sound, vibrational healing. We tend to gravitate towards one that works for us. Soon the pain subsides, loses its edge. We don't feel so raw. Our lives may be in shambles around us but we can stand to be alive and increasingly we can stand to be ourselves. We live in a time of infinite help with wonderful teachers who can assist us in moving out of our debris; emotional, psychological and spiritual. 

Not being who we are, may be something we picked up at our beginning but was never a part of our being and we need not continue with it. 

November's LiveWell Audio features Sarah Ban Breathnach who guides the listener on a journey to reclaim our authentic selves and the beauty of the life we can create from our 'real' selves.

Three Habits of Effective Project Leadership 

For any organization doing project based work, the need for leadership and collaboration is critical. Unfortunately, for many organizations, developing leadership is a challenge�there are never enough leaders in an organization and getting people to collaborate is often a challenge. 

Here are three leadership principles that can help you effectively manage project teams in today's complicated business climate: 

1. Lead Yourself First. My colleagues and I used to call this walking the talk. If you don't practice what you preach, how can you lead others. 

2. Encourage Ownership. The more people feel of sense of ownership, the more responsibility team members will feel for the outcome. Identifying what a positive or negative outcome means to the team will encourage a sense of ownership. 

3. Follow-Up. I don't think it's any secret, but leaders get the behaviors they reinforce. 

It really doesn't matter what type of project based work you do or your particular work management methodology, project managers who spend time learning and implementing leadership skills are more successful than those that don't. As more and more organization turn to project and portfolio management best practices to make their organizations more efficient, the need for skilled project managers�those who know how to lead people as well as manage process�will continue to grow. 

What are you doing to improve your leadership skills? 

Six Keys to Successful Project-Based Work 

"Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breath in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important." 

In the 1984 movie The Karate Kid, Mr. Miagi, an apartment complex maintenance man, becomes an unlikely karate teacher for Daniel Laruso, a high-school kid in trouble with a bunch of local karate-bullies. With an unorthodox teaching style, Daniel-san's first karate lessons includes waxing Mr. Miagi's cars�all four of them. 

So what does this have to do with project based work? 

Without giving a play-by-play of the whole story,, Mr. Miagi taught Daniel the basic techniques and skills that would allow him to defend himself. I've observed that there are some basic project management fundamentals that are common to any successful project and portfolio management methodology. 

Successful project managers focus on what matters most. Here are six suggestions: 

1. Make sure the project has a strong sponsor. Every project needs a sponsor who will evangelize the value of the initiative throughout the life of the project. 

2. Make sure the project is adequately funded. The temptation is to take whatever funding is offered, but without adequate funding�it's usually the project manager who ends up in hot water when the project fails for lack of financial resources. 

3. Pick the right team. Make sure the team includes all the skills that will be needed for success. Just because someone is available, doesn't always mean they are the best to work on your project. 

4. Plan. Planning is more than just preparing to deliver the final product. It should involve a continual process of evaluation and adjustment. 

5. Know the end before you begin. Make sure you know what the outcome of a successful project is before you start. What does "done" mean? Financial experts call this an "exit plan." 

6. Prepare for change. The very nature of projects create change. Whether it's a new product or an improvement in process or technology. Makes sure to prepare for the change,,,,,,

1:34 AM

EPL: QPR, Norwich seri tanpa jaringan

Posted by Zulkarnai Harun Ar Rashid |


LONDON 2 Feb. - Queens Park Rangers seri tanpa jaringan dengan Norwich City dalam perlawanan Liga Perdana Inggeris di Loftus Road, di sini hari ini.

Keputusan itu menyebabkan Queens Park Rangers terus menghuni tangga tercorot liga dengan 17 mata. - AFP - Utusan

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